WHAT A SCENE, WHAT A JOY
FREDERICK
What a scene! What a joy!
What a lovely sight
When my game is the big sensation!
Has the mob's sporting taste
Altered overnight?
Have they found new sophistication?
Not yet! They just want to see
If the nice guy beats the bum
If it's East-West
And the money's sky-high
They all come
You can raise all you want
If you raise the roof
Scream and shout and the gate increases
Break the rules -- break the bank
I'm the living proof
They don't care how I move my pieces
I know I'm the best there is
But all they want is a show
Well that's all right I'll be glad to oblige
S.R.O. S.R.O.
Frederick and his entourage leave.
FREDERICK'S SUITE
IN Frederick's (and Florence's) suite, Frederick is alone, playing chess against a computer.
Florence enters with a bundle of newspapers
FLORENCE
Well, we can't complain that you're being ignored by the press
FREDERICK
What'd they say? What'd they say?
FLORENCE
They're not too polite
FREDERICK
They say I'm a shit?
FLORENCE
Well, yes
They pulled you to pieces in
five different languages
(Frederick goes up to Florence, kisses her quickly, and starts looking through some papers)
FLORENCE
Here we are - The Times -
You "thrive on unpleasantness"
(Frederick finds this amusing, and Florence seems to also)
Le Monde: "Frederick Trumper La Honte des echecs."
FREDERICK
I don't believe that they can't see my game
I'm like that tennis player, what's his name?
They love to hate me and for us that's dollars!
FLORENCE
Die Welt: Trumper die gross lecker skandal die schatz!
[Trumper - the greatest scandal of chess!]
FREDERICK
Hey, look here's a piece that some idiot's written on you
"Florence Vassy, petite Hungarian-born Englishwoman
His gentle companion" - huh! If they only knew
FLORENCE (pushing him onto the bed)
What do you mean? I've always been gentle with you Freddie -
BOTH (reading)
"She stands by her champion"
FREDERICK
I like this - "whose
Demands are so infantile - "
I don't like this!
(he throws the paper away)
FLORENCE
If you don't like it then it's up to you
They like the Russian - they could like you too
FREDERICK
Commie newspapers!
Of course the bastards all support the Russian
FLORENCE
But Sergievsky seems a sweet opponent -
So why do you abuse him all the time?
Freddie, I love you very much but just for once, don't go on about the Russians at the press conference, okay?
FREDERICK
All Soviets deserve abuse!
PRESS CONFERENCE
Dissolve into one of the hotel's conference rooms. A gaggle of REPORTERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, INTERVIEWERS and TV PERSONNEL assembled to speak to FREDERICK, facing the gathering. FLORENCE is not yet there.
REPORTER #1
Does your opponent deserve such abuse?
FREDERICK
All Soviets deserve abuse!
REPORTER #2
But even you must concede he can play
FREDERICK
Yeah, he's the best Red on the circuit, sure, I'll give him that -
REPORTER #3
He hasn't lost for a long time
He could be a tough nut to crack
FREDERICK
Listen, if he gets one game off of me it's because I want to keep the press interest going -
REPORTERS
Why do you persist
With vicious attacks,
Ungracious remarks re:
Opponents? It smacks
Of a lack of conviction, admit
You're under duress
And that your only skill left
Is for money not chess
If Soviet life's
As grim as you claim
Then how come their boys are
So good at the game?
Though you swear the American dream
Is clearly the best
You're no advertisement for
Life and times in the West.
(Florence enters)
REPORTER #4
Why did you risk the whole match breaking down?
FREDERICK
I don't know what you're saying. What are you - what are you implying?
REPORTER #1
All your outrageous demands, your conceit -
FREDERICK
I don't see anything outrageous in demanding what I'm worth.
REPORTER #5
They pay you all that you ask for
And then you demand even more -
FREDERICK
I'm the reason you're all here -who's ever heard of Sergievsky?
REPORTERS
It's hard to believe what we're reporting
Why so disparaging? Not very sporting
FREDERICK
Are the Communists sporting? My God -
REPORTERS
Tell all this to the United Nations
Are you an asset to East-West relations?
FREDERICK
What is this? What have the Russians ever done for East-West relations? Do you guys have any serious questions?
REPORTER #6
What's your impression of our little town?
FREDERICK
Rather cold and dull. As I expected.
REPORTER #2
Where would you rather have played? Leningrad?
FREDERICK
Leningrad was an insulting Soviet suggestion -
REPORTER #3
They only tried to be friendly
They would have played in New York
FREDERICK
Aw - c'mon, you know as well as I do what their motives were.
REPORTERS
You protest too much, we see your ploy, a
Big noise to hide your fears, pure paranoia
FREDERICK
I'm not paranoid. They're out to get me!
REPORTERS
Tell all this to the United Nations
Are you an asset to East-West relations?
FREDERICK
Jesus...
REPORTER #7
Will you be quitting for good if you lose?
(Frederick stares at the questioner, but makes no reply)
REPORTER #2
How come your second's a girl, lover boy?
FREDERICK
(a double take, then:)
What’d you say?
REPORTER #2
How come your second's a girl, lover boy?
(Frederick rushes at the Reporter and hits him. He storms off. Pandemonium, from which emerges:)
REPORTERS
Well, what did I say?
He's out of his tree
He's finally flipped
And between you and me
He's no hope of retaining his crown
In his frame of mind
In fact he shouldn't have come here
He should have resigned
(FLORENCE is desperately trying to restore order. As the REPORTERS continue, she dominates their words with a powerful outburst:)
FLORENCE
Smile, you got your first exclusive story
Now you can bask in his reflected glory
Naked, unprovoked, Yankee aggression!
Oh what a credit to your great profession!
REPORTERS
Much better to quit
While still number one
Than crash to defeat
Reputation undone
Though he's proved to himself
It's a communist plot
If you ask me it's money that did it
And started the rot
It's sad that the best
His country's produced
Is crumbling in front
Of our eyes and reduced
To a mindless abuse and assault
On all of mankind
In fact he shouldn't have come here
He should have resigned....
Back to previous song
Forward to next song