I’m on the case
Can’t be fooled
Any objection
Is overruled
Don’t try to tempt me
You’ve no hope
I don’t like women
I don’t take dope
I’m the Arbiter, my word is law
From square one I’m watching you
(Lyrics below are as revised and used throughout the run)
ARBITER
By all the pawns
On Heaven's board
Of all officials,
Why me, oh Lord?
The greatest insult
Suffered yet
By my profession,
But do not forget
I'm the Arbiter, my word is law
From square one I'll be watching you
MOLOKOV
We wish, no must, make our disgust
For this abuse perfectly clear
We're here for chess - are the US?
If so why foul the atmosphere?
FLORENCE
I must protest - our delegation has a host of valid points to raise
Our player's sporting attitude's beyond all praise
As any neutral would attest
But we concede
The fact his masters bend the rules is not a player's fault
We'll over look their crude political assault
And under protest will proceed
MOLOKOV (simultaneously with FLORENCE's speech above)
We wish, no must, make our disgust
At this abuse perfectly clear
We're here for chess - are the US?
If so, why foul the atmosphere?
| MOLOKOV If your man's so sweet Then why his fighting talk? If he's not a cheat Then why on earth Did he go take a walk? Why let him loose? He'll soon reduce This great event To a brawl It's very sad To see the ancient and Distinguished game That used to be |
ARBITER I call this tune No-one's immune To my power Once in this hall FLORENCE I am not surprised He wanted fresher air Once he realized There was no hope Of your lot playing fair How sad to see What used to be |
MOLOKOV + FLORENCE
A model of decorum and tranquility
Become like any other sport
A battleground for rival ideologies
To slug it out with glee
|
ANATOLY Through the elegant yelling Of this compelling Dispute Comes the ghastly suspicion My opposition's A fruit FLORENCE I don't suppose |
MOLOKOV We wish, no must Make our disgust At this abuse perfectly clear We're here for chess - are the US? If so why foul the atmosphere? ARBITER I must insist That you desist If you value Your livelihood MOLOKOV It seems to us There's little point in waiting Here all night for his return And since a peaceful match is our soul concern We won't make an official fuss In short we rise Above your guy's Tantrums, dramas, Dirty tricks ARBITER Get this straight, I Will not stand by While you play at Politics |
ANATOLY, FLORENCE, ARBITER & MOLOKOV (together)
A model of decorum and tranquility
Become like any other sport
A battleground for rival ideologies
To slug it out with glee
ARBITER
Enough of this piety! If the players do not return to the arena within 24 hours, the match is null and void - the game is greater than its players.
The ARBITER leaves, as does ANATOLY. FLORENCE and MOLOKOV remain to salvage the situation.
MOLOKOVThe game is greater than its players, Miss Vassy - how true!
I don't know how you can allow this
Harm to be done to chess, and how this
Baby of yours can be persuaded
Back to the game
FLORENCE
Easy. You stop playing politics and you start playing chess.
I don't know how you have the gall to
Criticise us when it is all too
Obvious this is what you wanted -
We get the blame
Your man, following orders, was up to some sort of bust-up from the word go...
MOLOKOV
You really are mad! He has no orders!
Now let me put my cards upon your table
If he is aggrieved then who can blame him?
He is up against a man who's less than stable
FLORENCE
Freddie less than stable? You're goading him -
Who rocked his chair throughout the match then?
Who sniffed and coughed, began to scratch then
Played with his flag and tapped his fingers?
Then took a walk!
Your precious boy!
MOLOKOV
A piccydillo -
FLORENCE
Peccadillo.
MOLOKOV
- peccadillo compared with the neurotic behavior of Trumper -
FLORENCE
Listen, you Plutocratic throwback
You and your cronies want to go back
Home to your dachas, not the saltmines?
We better talk
MOLOKOV
I wish, Florenz (he mispronounces her name) -
FLORENCE
Florence.
MOLOKOV
- you would refrain from cheap political jibes at a time when cooperation between us is vital. Besides, I thought you would be reluctant to criticise fellow Eastern Europeans
FLORENCE
Fellow Eastern Europeans! I was born a Hungarian. Remember Hungary? I wish I could. I was only five when you bastards moved in. I have no memory of my homeland, my people, my mother and father - all taken from me by you-
And you call yourself a fellow Eastern European!
MOLOKOV
Come now, Miss Vassy, we're digressing
Back to the point, let's start addressing
All our attention to the World Chess Championship -
FLORENCE
(after a long pause in which she wonders whether to contemplate any further dealings with this man. She decides she has to. She takes out a piece of paper from her bag)
The Merano Mountain Inn - famous for its peace and tranquility - that's where I want you to deliver me one Soviet Grandmaster...